just blah

I find it incredibly hard to write when I’m just feeling blah. I’ve had anxiety about nearly everything lately. Panic attacks are hitting at night when I’m attempting to forget about it all and sleep. Not working. This is about the worst time since I have nothing better to do than lay in bed and worry and think and the panic attack completely takes over. For anyone who’s experienced this feeling you know exactly what I’m talking about. For those who haven’t, you feel almost helpless, like you’ve lost control of your mind and body.

Naming a baby has got to be one of the hardest things to do, unless it’s all up to you. With my son I knew his name the minute I knew I was pregnant. A name will just stick and I know it’s the right name. This is what’s happened right now….. so here I am with this name stuck in my head and I love it. Problem is……. it’s not only up to me this time. So this has turned into a nightmare. Anybody have any opinions or suggestions? This is tearing me apart worrying about my baby’s name. Ever since I had my son I’ve wanted to continue the “J” name thing – apparently this is a problem too You can still find the 3 “J” names I had picked out written in my phone book from years ago. Is it weird that this means SO much to me?

As for gaining weight during pregnancy. I’m one of those people who’ll say and think “Oh yeah, I’ll gain however much weight for my baby if it means he/she will be healthy.” But it’s truly tearing me apart right now. I don’t care how much we say that, the weight gain will still cause some depressed feelings. It doesn’t help that lots of clothes aren’t fitting me right now and that gets frustrating. July needs to come fast.

it’s a boy!

Isn’t that the cutest little foot! I LOVE this picture from the ultrasound! It’s perfect! Little man was being a turd and was playing instead of cooperating so the lady could see all she needed to see. But they think they saw some little boy parts in there! Now I have to play the name game. She who can’t make a decision! It was amazing to lay and watch the screen in the ceiling (even though all I could think the entire time was….. Man I hope that TV doesn’t fall out of the ceiling onto my head!) – how fun! It was nothing like this 8 years ago for my first. These pictures were like going in with my Rebel XTI and taking the shots! When she first started he had his head tilted back looking at us! Two eyes and that little nose! OMG! I love it! I could have lay there all day watching him. Yesterday was the first day I’ve really felt movement and knew it was the baby. I have major tummy issues and so times when it might have been the baby it’s normal weird tummy feelings to me so I didn’t know. I guess maybe it had something to do with seeing him moving and just gave me that mommy feeling of knowing that was baby movement and not tummy bubbles.

My son was not too happy. He was really wanting a little sister. He was with Gramma – she said the look on his face was priceless when I told him it was a boy. He said “Noooooooooooooooo” I told him “Sorry, we can’t trade him in and we can’t send him back” Hopefully he’ll decide that a little brother will be just fine. He keeps saying little brothers are pests – I think he got that from one of his little girl friends at school who has a little brother. I don’t think he realizes that anything “little” is going to be a pest to him at some time or another lol

Mommy says “See you in a few more months baby – we can’t wait! You have LOTS of hugs and kisses waiting for you! Love you baby!”

24 hours of NO computer – can you do it?

My brother just informed me that 24.March.07 is “Shutdown Day”. Brought to us by Shutdown Day. I’m not sure if this is some kind of torture or what – but I’m in . This is giving me lots of time to think about it – so by 23.March I may have completely freaked out and my counselor may just say…. Just leave your damn computer on – before I put you in a straight jacket in a padded room! But for now…. I’m game. I wish they would have made it happen on a Sunday. I think we need to plan a trip that weekend – I’m not sure I can be in my house with NO computer. Shopping anybody? Please! Just the other day – I was having Internet connection problems… my Internet wouldn’t load for like 5 minutes – I was on with my brother every 30 seconds freaking out! And now they want 24 hours. Wow…… this is going to be interesting. Hey I just thought of an idea… if I have to go 24 hours with NO computer – then I’m creating a NO TV day too!

Who’s in with me?

Update: I just told two of my friends that I’m telling their husbands about the day so they can go steal and hide their power cords! (evil laugh) Nobody else get any ideas…… that’s my idea and only my idea! Besides I have spares! haha

Another update: My brother said he’d get me Life Alert – it says I can have it for just needing comfort.

are you a good kisser?

Your Kissing Technique Is: Perfect

Your kissing technique is amazing – and you know it. You have the confidence to make the first move. And you always seem to know what kissing style is going to work best. Sometimes you’re passionate, sometimes you’re a tease. And you’re always amazing!

Are You a Good Kisser?

 

Geez – I already KNEW all this! LOL

what do people envy about you?

People Envy Your Compassion

You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others’ happiness and pain.People envy your compassion, and more importantly, the connections it helps you build. And compassionate as you are, you feel for them.

What Do People Envy About You?