my little man

Posted on 6 November 2006. Filed under: Everyday Life, Kid Time |

What’s happening to my little man?! He’s 7! I swear it was just yesterday we were talking about silly kid things! Oh hell no tonight we talked about his breaking up with his first girlfriend and how he did it. We talked about some chick who thinks she’s popular and cool and really she’s not. Then we discussed how to take a lady out on a date. Oh and he told me I don’t look like I’m having a baby (I’m only 5 weeks), so I show him my tummy and he says “Oh, that’s normal”. What! Hell no this isn’t normal! I have a flat tummy usually! Dude kid you don’t even have a clue what you’re talking about – this is the first time you’ve seen my tummy so you just pipe it!

One of our dinner conversations:

Mom: Honey don’t forget to call Edith tomorrow. (Edith would be the lady who hopefully has some scrap velvet for mounting our antlers – cross your fingers with me)
BF: Ok
Mom: Ooooooh….. (insert name here) is calling his other girlfriend tomorrow.
Son: No he’s not, he doesn’t have another one.
BF: Well you have more than one girlfriend so why can’t I?
Son: No I don’t!
BF: Well you’re girlfriend is Courtney. But what about Tessa?
Son: Oh her, I dumped her. (All calm cool and collected)
Mom: *don’t mind me I’m sitting here freakin the fuck out thinking what(!) my son’s talking about dumping some girl already!
BF: Well how’d you dump her?
Son: Oh I just quit talking to her. Except for today, I played with her today.
Mom: Well you can’t just quit talking to her!
Son: Well she’s the one who wanted to be my girlfriend! She just walked up to me the first day of first grade and said “Hey, you are going to be my boyfriend.” He says he didn’t think that’s the right way to do it. But he still said she was his girlfriend?!
*Now he’s a second grader and his “girlfriend” is a fourth grader*
Mom: No you need to take girls out, when you’re MUCH OLDER(!), and take them to dinner and *interrupted*
Son: I know take them to dinner and a movie and then do that kissy wissy stuff.
Mom: Heck No! No kissy wissy stuff – you save that for a later date! Not the first date! haha
Son: *rolling eyes at me now*

OMG! School is baaaaaaaad! 😛 And I thought he was there learning math, reading, music, etc. When the hell did “Dating 101” become a class for 2nd graders! Damn women anyway – already trying to rule the roost and corrupt my little man!

Last night when I walked into his room to tuck him in he says “Sup Mommy” “Ummmmm……… sup homey” Ya – thank god he only said this ONE time – hopefully never to repeat again! We are SO not gangsta!

And he answers the phone the other night “Talk to me gram”. WTF!

And he’s telling ME it’s okay to have this big ol tummy – It’s normal! NO! It’s NOT! It’s totally ok right now, but in 9 months – it’s gotta go!


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7 Responses to “my little man”

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Ok, so I know my daughter isn’t quite 5 months old yet but I already dread the day we have to start talking about boys with her! Your little man sounds like he has the silliest personality! 🙂

Nicole: Yes, aaaaahh growing up – I wish I could put a brick on his head and make him quit – I want to keep him little forever! 🙂 Because I’m due close to the 4th of July he put a to do list on my fridge, it says 1. Get the baby 2. Get some fireworks. At least he has his priorities straight. haha

Wow – 7 to 16 in a flash of the eye. They grow up way too fast!

FFG: I know! 😦 Waaaaaaaaahhh

My son D has a girlfriend too. They are both in the 3rd grade but in different classrooms. They live for lunch and recess.
My son’s first “best girl” (what he called his girlfriend at the time) was in preschool.
Suxually he is still pretty innocent. I explained a bit about sex but he really doesn’t know much yet.

Rachel: It’s so cute when they are talking about their little girlfriends at school because it’s so innocent it makes me laugh. Like when he played with his old girlfriend yesterday – I told my brother “Hmmm the new girl must not mind him being with the ex sometimes” hahahaha Oh boy…….. the suxual part…… I keep expecting my son to ask “Where do babies come from?” I’m coming to you for advice of what to say! If you’ve already gotten into this a little bit. Please help a mommy in need 🙂

Maybe he just hasn’t been subjected to the media idea of what a woman “should” look like. He thinks that having a little bit of a tummy is normal. I’m sure he didn’t mean it’s normal for you. 🙂 heee.

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