frustrated

Posted on 29 July 2007. Filed under: baby, breastfeeding |

I’m going crazy here. Not a clue what I’m doing wrong. Nursing is a nightmare in the evenings. Come feeding time, little man latches on wonderfully but only stays latched for a minute and then throws his head back screaming. He’ll go on for a few seconds and then back to the latch, then it repeats. It’s only in the evenings. Mornings are excellent (fingers crossed). Nights are excellent too (fingers crossed again). I’m wondering if evenings are just a major fussy time and he doesn’t really know what he wants. But it’s so frustrating, my entire evening is spent unhooking and hooking my bra every 15 minutes in an attempt to get him to eat or calm down or sleep, whichever it is he wants. Any advice moms?

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7 Responses to “frustrated”

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First of all – good for you for reaching out to other moms for help. I am no expert on nursing, I had two baby boys. I found nursing to be a huge pain and a huge joy – but it took a while for the joy to come. the evening time that you are describing use to be what we called “the arsenic hour.” There just seemed to be a time in the evening when our sons were cranky. Couldn’t make them happy no matter how much we tried. For our own sanity, we called this time our arsenic hour. Can’t remember why or where we got that term (I think it was from one of those baby specialist books on how to be a parent. The arsenic was for us, not our babies.) Here are some other thoughts for you to consider for dealing with this time…

I am wondering where you are sitting or laying to nurse in the evenings? Is it in the same place that you are nursing in the mornings and at night? Could how you are holding your baby, at the different times, making it harder for him to nurse? One way my youngest son liked to nurse was to turn him around so his body was under my arm. I could hold his head in the palm of my hand to support his head at my breast. It helps to do this with a pillow to support his body and your arm.

My first son wanted to sleep after one minute of nursing, so I had to tickle his feet to keep him awake long enough to nurse. I hated doing that, but if I didn’t, I’d suffer for not nursing long enough. I had to pump at times when he wouldn’t wake up. He is 23 now and is still a light eater.

The only other thing I can think about is… Is he hungry enough to nurse? Maybe waiting a little longer, (pumping if you need to for relief), that way he is hungry enough to stay latched on when he does get hungry.

Hang in there – this time will pass all too soon.
— Donlyn, Photos UnBoxed Custom Scrapbooks

Not much advice as that hadn’t happened to me. Is it something you’re eating at night? Or like the above poster, are you in a different place? Try to see if there is anything different between night and day. Then again babies get fussy at night, maybe try nursing earlier or later?

If it keeps up contact the doctor, or give your local LLL a call. Hang in there, you are doing a wonderful thing for your baby.

spot on – a lot of babies are indeed fussy in the evening.
http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/fussy-evening.html
no advice, but hang on in there and it WILL get better soon. try carrying bubba in a sling if you can, or dancing him around, taking a walk if it’s all too much.
the feeding thing is soooo hard when they fuss. don’t take it as a personal thing, though sometimes it’s tough. if you do need to chat through things, LLL are great or the other breastfeeding associations, NCT, ABM, BFN.
i know when my baby was young, i spent a lot of time trying to ‘fix’ things, when the only thing that really helped was time. that can make you feel helpless sometimes, but also i can promise you things will change really soon. do what you can to survive with a little sanity, get help if you need it, or even if you don’t.
lots of love.
xx

I’m going through the same thing in the day. When he gets really mad he usually has a burp, try burping him a lot. Silas was exactly the same. Also at night your milk might not come in as fast as he’d like because the supply is lower. My son flips in the day when my milk comes in too fast or when he’s got a burp in there. Silas would scream at night time just like your guy, it was mostly a burp in there plus a fussy time. Hang in there, you both will get better at nursing and in a few months it should be a breeze. I hung in there with Silas and eventually completely forgot about those horrid nursing times. I’m struggling through with Ikey right along with you!

I’ve found with my youngest that she often tried to nurse with the expectation that she would find her comfort…only to be frustrated because it wasn’t what she really wanted, which was often sleep. Do you have a sling or a wrap that you could wear your baby in? I would wrap her up, bounce, and let her suck on my pinky; she was usually out in less than five minutes.

Whatever your baby is looking for, you can’t go wrong offering to nurse. You are giving your baby a wonderful gift! This, too, shall pass. Hang in there!

Perhaps he is not hungry at that time. In the beginning with my son I was NO WAY near a nursing PRO. It took a few months for us to get it down. In the beginning I pumped more than nursed and then gradually did every other feeding with bottle/breast. And in the long run, a year later, I indeed felt like a PRO.

I say your doing great and if this is the only time he does this, perhaps it’s just a phase he’s going through. Hang in there, it gets better!

Gack. Be thankful that it’s only the evenings – Kitten screams bloody murder every time I try to latch her to my left breast! Oh well… this too shall pass. Or at least I try to keep telling myself.


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