Posted on 18 September 2007. Filed under: baby, breastfeeding, napping, work |

I’m seriously losing my mind. Baby changes every day. One day he’ll nurse, the next he won’t, one day he takes a morning nap, next day he won’t nap at all. Yesterday he decided he didn’t want to nurse at all. Today he decided he doesn’t like my right boob. He likes them both if it’s between the hours of 9 pm and 6 am and we’re in bed. I’ve tried recreating the entire night situation in the day to get him to eat – he looks at me like I’m totally crazy and then starts crying. It’s like he’s saying “Hey, Mom I’m not dumb! I KNOW it’s not night time yet!” What the heck could be wrong with my right boob! It’s the same as the left. I’ve tried holding him in every different position I can think of. He just wants nothing to do with it.

Baby also has a teeny tiny ingrown toenail 😦 I know how bad those suckers hurt! I keep thinking about pushing the skin away and putting hot compresses on it, like I was instructed to do with mine. But I know how bad that hurt and I hate doing that do him when he can’t tell me it hurts or when to stop. We have it on the same foot – same toe right now. Damn things.

Yesterday I was desperate to get some things done. He was having no part in helping with that. I ended up strapping him into his little Snugli Carrier on the front of me and we walked to get some errands done. The walk was nice, but holy crap that gets heavy, especially when you come back with bags in hand also. It’s like being pregnant all over again. By the time we finished with errands and headed home he was getting really crabby. Prolly from being stuck in the damn thing, I have no idea how comfy it must be. We made it home with a few tears. He actually did well for a little walk in the stroller last night too.

I have my own frustrating problems right now. For the first time in my life I feel completely stuck and lost. Losing a job sucks, especially when it was such a good job that was going to make things much easier. I LOVE being home with baby and lately with the way things have gone I can’t imagine any daycare even taking him. I know a few people who’ve been kicked out of daycares because they have kids who cry all day. Hell, my baby won’t even let Gramma hold him. He won’t eat, he doesn’t nap – they’d laugh at me and show me the door 😦 I’m so used to being an independent person who has made a living on my own that without a job and being dependent on someone else is absolutely killing me. I never thought I’d be THIS affected by it, but I really can’t handle it. I keep thinking that once I get kids coming everyday and a little income coming in I’ll be better. But it’s not the job I’m used to and I still think of all the things that bother me. I won’t make NEAR as much money, I have NO benefits like I used to – no retirement, insurance, 401k (all that good stuff). Anyway… it’s just all really bothering me in a way I never knew it would. I’ve always thought it would be so great to be a SAHM, I’m having my doubts now (NO offense baby – I love you!). I feel like less of a person right now because of it all – like I’m not being complete for myself.


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7 Responses to “HELP!”

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Wow I so remember feeling just like you did a few months ago. Not with the job thing, but with the sleeping/nursing/screaming thing. People always said that the stage will pass and I will forget all about it. Well what do you know, I now want another baby. I have completely forgotten how hard it was in the beginning. I hope you feel better soon.Just keep offering th boob, eventually he will be good at nursing

For one, you’re not less of a person!! Soon this will all be over and you can go back to work. I felt bad for not making money for such a long time. I still kind of do but your son will benefit from not being in daycare all of the time.

Now for his issues. He seems to be everywhere hey? I have a suggestion, of course you know your son more than I do so take it or leave it.

What kind of a schedule is he on? Are you trying to nurse him on demand? With Isaac I realized that I needed to let him get more hungry before nursing so we nurse every 4 hours. Of course I can tell if he’s really hungry before then and I’ll give him a little snack. I forget how old your little tyke is now. You might want to schedule feeds for every three-four hours and don’t let him snack much. Then he’ll be good and hungry for each feeding. It kinda just sounds to me like he’s not very hungry when you go to feed him and if you keep offering him the breast and he keeps taking just a little bit he might not get hungry enough to have a good, long nurse. I find a schedule (a loose one) works nicely because the babies start knowing what to expect and it helps them feel secure. In my opinion anyway.

There’s my two cents. It’s not going to hurt him if he goes a little hungry for a bit on order to nurse well. Soon he’ll be gulping down big meals and you’ll be loving the free time in between nursings.

Life is all about give & take. Sometimes others depend on you & sometimes you depend on others. Sure it is nice to be independent. I completely agree with that. I am sure you’ll be there again. For now, you are handling a lot.

Im sorry to hear you’re having troubles. It’ll get better!!!! I know what you mean about the job thing. I’d love to stay home all the time but am going back 3 days a week, and won’t be making much money then. Oh well, my baby is more important and trying to spend as much time with her while she’s small!!! Cheer up!!! What happened with the daycare idea???

I can’t say as I know what you mean about the job – I can’t imagine ever going back to work, and I hope that I don’t have to. I love being at home with my little girl, and would be terribly upset if I had to work. That said, I can understand about wanting to feel like a PERSON and not just someone’s mom.

I’m sorry that little guy isn’t eating well. I hope that he smartens up soon! It always seems like one thing or another, eh?

Gosh your little man sounds awhole lot like MY little man at that age.

I used to have these wierd dreams years ago where I realized I didn’t have a job but still had car payments, rent/mortgage and a bunch of other expenses. I’d wake in a cold sweat. So I know what you mean about how stressful that loss of income can be and how you’ve always prided yourself on your ability to financially support yourself.

Hope your little man gives you a bit of a break today. 🙂 Sending you hugs.

Your little guy sounds like my girl at that age too! I always said that right when we got into somewhat of a routine it wouldn’t matter much because that would be out the door! Hang in there… I remember spending the first few months of Maddie’s life being tired (of course!) and hormonal as all heck. The hormones sure didn’t help and looking back, I swear I just wasn’t in my right mind. Hugs for you!!!!

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