why i am crazy

Posted on 13 February 2009. Filed under: Uncategorized |

I’m one of those people who thinks all the time. I’ve been told I think too much. Maybe I do, maybe I don’t. I work through everything. Seems logical right, work through ALL the solutions, possibilities, etc. Do I always pick the right one, probably not. This is how I work…. (a good example anyway).

This morning I packed up 5 kids, 4 in car seats and my son to get him to school. I return home and the phone rings, like clockwork, this happens many many days of the week. It’s my son, of course, he’s forgotten his drink for the Valentine’s Day party today. Let me remind you, I asked him about this about a week ago and then last night again while we were at the store getting Valentines, because yes he “forgot” that he needed those and he “forgot” he needed a box.

I tell him I’m sorry he’s going to just have to get a drink of water from his water bottle today because I wasn’t packing up those 4 kids in winter clothes and back into the car seats to go buy a juice and take it back to school. I told him he really needs to be prepared. I’ve tried getting him to write notes, but apparently he’s like me and needs to write notes to remind himself to look at other notes. Yeah… that’s how we roll here.

End of discussion right. Well, technically yes, the discussion between him and I is over. He’ll be fine, he didn’t even care. He’ll go get some water in his water bottle and carry on with the party like it’s nothing. He’s good like that. But me…. nope not the end here. It’s war in my head now. I’m an awful mother. No, you did the right thing. No, you say being without will be okay, it’s not life threatening. But packing the kids back up really won’t kill me right. But then he’ll never learn. I know, but he’s a kid. Should I pack them up. Should I let him learn. Should I call for help, maybe somebody else is out and about and could take him a juice.

This… people… will go on in my head until I see him at the end of day. And that’s why I’m crazy. I can’t turn it off. It won’t go away. I think and worry all day long until I’m having panic attacks, like half the night last night, and then I really can’t settle down. HELP!!

The biggest problem is, it doesn’t just end there with that one. This happens numerous times during the day and that means things are overlapping. I’m worrying about 10 things like this, not just one. It makes me so tired, I wish I could make it all go away. Just quit worrying about everything little thing. How do you not worry about everything??


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2 Responses to “why i am crazy”

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Now you know why I had ulcers in high school. Welcome to my world!

have you tried anti-anxiety medication. they weren’t first nicknamed mother’s little helpers for no reason…

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